The Mobile Ping

App Store on Shuffle is a weekly feature where The Mobile Ping finds, through highly scientific methods, a random iPhone app for review.

To explain how my first review came about, I feel that I need to go into a bit of detail as to how we choose apps for this feature. First we use a random word generator to find a common to uncommon noun. Then, we type it into Apple App Store search engine and download the first item we can afford. I say afford because I dread the day the generator throws “Oracle” at me.

For my first word I drew “Juvenile”. Already, I knew I was in for it, But I was not prepared for what was coming:

Celebrity - That’s What She Said - TWSS

$0.99

The premise is simple: Celebrity TWSS works as a soundboard, providing you with audio clips featuring impersonations of stars saying “that’s what she said”.  The app store is full of little programs like this, and some of them can actually be quite hysterical when properly executed. This program worried me instantly, however, when the initial splash page was of a barely disguised South Park disclaimer. Upon loading, the program played “Arnold Schwartz-n-nogger” saying (in a very badly imitated voice) “that’s what she said” over, and over, and over again. I then selected “Austin Powerup” and the app crashed.

Perhaps the British Super Spy is too cool for school? I immediately reopened the app and tried “Barnie Rubels”, ending in the same result.

Not to be put off, I proceeded to reboot my iPhone to clear the memory. With trepidation I reopened TWSS and and attempted feast my ears upon “Bill Cusby” but was denied by bad coding.

This app is a perfect example of why Apple needs a return policy, even if only within the first 10 minutes. I wish my 99 pennies went to the homeless man who panhandles outside my place of work. Hell, I’d even throw in an extra penny for good measure.

Result: 1/5 *MIDDLE FINGER*